Developing self-confidence is not an easy task, especially when it comes to our careers.

When we are applauded for the assignment we did well, the client we made happy, or the job we successfully won, it makes us feel really good about ourselves. When others see and note our good work and success, it feels even better. That’s called external validation.

But how do we do this for ourselves? 

Instead of: Your confidence being bolstered only by what others think and say about you…

Try: Looking inward to grow your self-confidence – on your own. 

1. You did a great job: Own the moment. If you have ever done a great job on something -- from meeting a tight deadline, to launching a brand-new initiative, to getting your kids to school equipped with everything they need AND making it to work on time (yes, this counts as a great job!) -- you know that certainty that reverberates from within. It’s a moment in time where we feel our feet planted firmly on the ground, our head clear with the knowledge that we knocked it out of the park, and we KNOW we are simply the best and the sky’s the limit. Take time to write this down: What does this feel like? How did you get to this amazing place of confidence and certainty? What does it make you feel like doing NEXT? Own this moment and bask in it: You made this happen, no one else.

2. You nailed that presentation: Celebrate how YOU choose to! You just aced that presentation in front of your boss after hours of preparation and practice. You are amazing and you can do anything! Instead of waiting for others to celebrate, take time to do this for yourself in the way that feels meaningful to you. Do you want to be with friends? Hang out with colleagues? Go to the gym? Celebrate with a good meal, a shopping spree, extra time with your family or your pet? Steering the celebration will give you a sense of ownership over the accomplishment, which will do wonders for your self-confidence.

3. You just won the job: Keep that momentum going! Congratulations! You have so many people waiting to hear if you got the offer, accepted the offer, when you will start, what perks come with it, and so on. This is a great time to keep the momentum going that you have already generated from all of those interviews, follow-up conversations, assessments you took, negotiations you took part in….don’t let it flame out. 

Start evaluating short term goals or the problems to solve that you discussed with your manager during your interview. Make a list of who you want to meet and network with in your new role. Look more deeply at things within the company that interest you and decide how you will act on them, from diversity programming to community involvement to leadership opportunities. Now is the time for you to keep building on what you won. That boost of confidence comes from not just winning the job, but from recognizing all you will contribute to your new employer.

Confidence can come easily when others validate us for what we are doing well. This is so true when it comes to our careers. But lasting self-confidence is found inward, if only we take credit for all that we do well, the achievements we accrue, and knowing that WE made them happen … not someone else.

Why look to someone else for their vote of confidence when you can look right within YOU?

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